Well, today marks the start of WOT4 for my wife at BMT. The past 4 weeks have gone by ok, but not near as fast as I would have liked them. As for my wife though, the time for her has flown by. I knew it would for her, since at BMT, you have so much going on, that you really don't have time to think about stuff, you just have time to do.
So far in the last 3 1/2 weeks, things have not got quite like I thought they would. I figured I was a pretty tough guy, well, in the last 4 weeks, I have been proved otherwise. I've been through a lot in my 35 years, but nothing that can compare to my wife and best friend being away. As my daughters say, I'm a pretty tough guy, but I have an extreme soft spot in my heart for my wife. I figured I would be the tough one, the strong one on the phone calls, boy have I been proven wrong.
First though about my wife/best friend. I have received a few phone calls by now. In each call, she sounds great. She is staying extremely focused and concentrating on the task at hand. So far as far as PT goes, she is loving it. She said she is getting stronger by the day, and is losing a good bit of weight. Her ring has gotten loose, but is still staying on because of her knuckles. She said she has not had to take it off yet, and kisses it everyday like we had promised each other we would.
She is in the Band Flight and will be playing the bass drum at graduation. She really did not want to be in the Band Flight, but she is making the best of it.
This past week in WOT3, she received her Blues, and also her wonderful AF prescription glasses, that as she says, she will only have to wear for the next 5 weeks, she does not like them at all. This coming week, in WOT4, she gets to do the confidence course, gas chamber, and the band will have their first performance, all of which, she is looking forward to. Her spirits have been great, and is looking forward to seeing me and our daughters in the coming weeks at her graduation. She is loving the food, and is eating healthy. She told me that changes will be coming at home as far as what we eat.
Now, as far as I have been, and from the point of view as an AF husband. The easiest way to put it is, this has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my 35 years on this Earth. From the day that she shipped out to BMT, to today, I have pretty much cried every morning, and every night, because I am missing my baby. I read all her letters every night that she has sent me, because I cherish any and all words that I receive from her. My daughters have been my strength through all of this. I have tried not to cry around my daughters, but never the less, I normally end up crying at some point while they are around me. Once I start doing that, one of them will bring me a Kleenex, and all three will give me a hug.
The hardest times for me are the mornings and nights. In the 11+ years me and my wife have been together, and the 9+ years we have been married, I was not used to my wife being away from me for more than a few days at a time. At those times, she could at least call me several times a day. Well, it was 10 days before I could have a real conversation with her, and that was only a 15 minute phone call. So far to date, I have only been able to talk to my wife for a total of 45 minutes. Her letters are what get me through from day to day, phone call to phone call, and letter to letter. This past week, she was finally allowed to start sending letters out every day at the end of the duty day. I've been used to laying down at night with her, while we fell asleep with her head on my shoulder. In the mornings, I had gotten used to waking up to her every morning, and always gave her a kiss before I jumped in the shower. The nights and mornings have been the biggest adjustment for me, and honestly, something I never want to get used to. Cuddling with a pillow, is just not quite the same, as cuddling with my wife.
This is the reason I have not been real good at posting on here daily like I had planned. I have had a really hard time with my wife/best friend being away from me. It's tough to write with tears in ones eyes. Another reason, I have not posted much, is be cause I wanted to stay positive in my post, assuming that this pain of my wife being gone at this time, would get better, but it has not. I told her I would write a blog though in a recent letter, so that is what I am doing. I can honestly say, that my heart has been broken, and the only thing that can fix it, is for my wife to finish BMT and Tech school and to get home on time, that way I can cuddle with her again, or talk to her when I want. She is my world, my everything. My soul mate, my best friend. I can say that I am lost without her. She definitely completes me.
It's amazing the small things that one takes for granted until faced with something like this. I never took my wife for granted, but took the small stuff that mean a lot for granted. Like the simple rolling over in the morning before my shower, and being able to give her a kiss, or things like being able to tell her how much I love her every night, and every morning. Simple things like just being able to hold her hand, and push her hair back from her face while she is sleeping. These are things I will never take for granted again, once she returns home to me.
On a positive note, my love for her grows daily while she is away. This is something, that I know in my heart that is bring her and I even closer and making us and our marriage even stronger. Something that will not be able to be broken. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fond, and I'm here to tell you, that it is absolutely true. I have never missed my wife so much, or have I ever loved her so much. Like I said, my love grows for her daily. I know her love for me grows daily as well, and I know that she misses me as well.
The girls have been great, going on with life like normal. The do miss mommy, and love mommy very much, but have been able to adjust to this time while mommy has been gone. I had promised my wife that I would be strong for the girls, but as it has turned out, the girls have been strong for me.
Saying all this, and being in as much pain as I am in, and with my heart being as broken as it is right now, I am so so proud of my wife. I would go through all this pain again, and all this heart ache again, if it meant that my wife could follow her dreams, and that following her dreams is what made her happy. It's a pain very much worth it, when its for the one that you love so much. I can honestly say that I love my wife unconditionally, and would go through anything, if it meant that she could follow her dreams and be happy. It's a very small thing for me to go through, to let my wife know that I love her so much. I just keep counting down the days until I get to see her again, and until she gets to come back home, as that is all I can do.
Baby, I am so so PROUD of you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY, to the moon and back! I am SOOOO IN LOVE with YOU. I think of you constantly, and miss you more than my words can describe.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Phone Call...
Well, I received my first phone call from my wife today. It was a short little 10-15 second phone call to give me her address, but at least I got to hear her voice.
All in all it wasn't too bad of a day. Almost broke down several times at work today, but other than that, not too bad of a day.
It was very nice to hear her voice, and it made for a great Valetine's day gift for me. I am so looking forward to her next call, which will be her first real call...a 15 minute one. Which she should get one of those per week, so only about 5-6 calls while she is there. The rest of our communication will have to be through letter. So, I am signing off that way I can go write her a letter and head to bed.
All in all it wasn't too bad of a day. Almost broke down several times at work today, but other than that, not too bad of a day.
It was very nice to hear her voice, and it made for a great Valetine's day gift for me. I am so looking forward to her next call, which will be her first real call...a 15 minute one. Which she should get one of those per week, so only about 5-6 calls while she is there. The rest of our communication will have to be through letter. So, I am signing off that way I can go write her a letter and head to bed.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Tough First Day...
Well, today, my wife/best friend took off for BMT and Tech School. The first day in a line of many.
We arrived at the airport this morning in enough time to spend about an hour together before she had to walk down the terminal. I had actually held it together pretty good until, my oldest daughter started crying, well that's when I lost it.
I got to hear from my wife a couple of times today, mainly just to say that she had arrived safely, and everything was ok.
The girls had a fairly normal day for the most part at school. After I picked them up this afternoon, we ate super with my folks and they brought over some Valentines gifts for the girls. I gave my Valentines to my wife yesterday on the 12th and will be giving the girls their Valentines in the morning.
As for me, it's been a pretty rough day this first day. Today will be etched in my mind and on my heart forever. Definitely a day I will not forget. I will be counting down the days until I get to see my beautiful wife again and be able to wrap my arms around her. I miss her greatly already! I will miss her and think of her daily. I am very proud of her though.
We arrived at the airport this morning in enough time to spend about an hour together before she had to walk down the terminal. I had actually held it together pretty good until, my oldest daughter started crying, well that's when I lost it.
I got to hear from my wife a couple of times today, mainly just to say that she had arrived safely, and everything was ok.
The girls had a fairly normal day for the most part at school. After I picked them up this afternoon, we ate super with my folks and they brought over some Valentines gifts for the girls. I gave my Valentines to my wife yesterday on the 12th and will be giving the girls their Valentines in the morning.
As for me, it's been a pretty rough day this first day. Today will be etched in my mind and on my heart forever. Definitely a day I will not forget. I will be counting down the days until I get to see my beautiful wife again and be able to wrap my arms around her. I miss her greatly already! I will miss her and think of her daily. I am very proud of her though.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Rings...
Well, since my wife is getting ready to go to BMT, and we didn't want her to lose any of her good wedding rings while she was there, crawling around in the dirt, we decided to order some matching wedding rings. We thought it would be a good idea, to act as a quick reminder to each of us, that the other one, had the same exact ring on, and would be thinking of each other as well.
I had planned to send an item with my wife to BMT, but come to find out, that would have been a very bad thing to do. So now, all she will really have in BMT as a quick reminder of me, is this matching wedding ring.
In the process as well, and something we will make a tradition, is we will not take our rings off until she returns home. At night, we both normally take our rings off, that way they don't get lost or what not. Well, with these matching rings, we promised each other, that we will not be taking them off at all, until she returns home from Tech school. That way, if she's having a rough day, or I'm having a rough day, all we will have to do is look down, and see our rings that match, and think of each other. It'll hopefully be a little comfort in knowing that she is wearing the same one for the same reason as me. Love you baby!
People take things like this for granted, but when's the last time, you looked down at your wedding band, and really, I mean really thought about your spouse, and how much you love them or appreciate them. Take the time, and honestly think about your spouse the next time you look down to your left hand and see that wedding band there. Call them, write them, in this day in age, send them a text. Just let them know and make them feel loved and appreciated.
I had planned to send an item with my wife to BMT, but come to find out, that would have been a very bad thing to do. So now, all she will really have in BMT as a quick reminder of me, is this matching wedding ring.
In the process as well, and something we will make a tradition, is we will not take our rings off until she returns home. At night, we both normally take our rings off, that way they don't get lost or what not. Well, with these matching rings, we promised each other, that we will not be taking them off at all, until she returns home from Tech school. That way, if she's having a rough day, or I'm having a rough day, all we will have to do is look down, and see our rings that match, and think of each other. It'll hopefully be a little comfort in knowing that she is wearing the same one for the same reason as me. Love you baby!
People take things like this for granted, but when's the last time, you looked down at your wedding band, and really, I mean really thought about your spouse, and how much you love them or appreciate them. Take the time, and honestly think about your spouse the next time you look down to your left hand and see that wedding band there. Call them, write them, in this day in age, send them a text. Just let them know and make them feel loved and appreciated.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Rough Day...
Well, yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me mentally.
On Facebook, I've liked a couple of pages....USAF Basic Military Training and AF Wing Moms. Each page, gives tips and keeps you updated as to what's going on.
Well, I got to reading some of the posts, and a flood of emotions came over me. For those that know me, I'm not really all that emotional of a guy, so this is kind of new territory for me. I believe, in my mind, that the reason this is so emotional, is because I'm going to miss my wife...plain and simple.
I've been on the leaving side when I myself left for Basic Training. I've been on the dependent side of things, when my father had to go TDY or called out to the base on alert. This however, is something new. I'm not used to being, the dependent spouse. As a spouse, you're used to being able to bounce ideas off of, in concerns of the family. You're used to sharing duties around the house. Well, in a military family, the spouse, has to be as strong as the military member. The biggest difference I see between a single parent and a military spouse is, as a single parent, you know the other one is gone, and most likely not coming back. As a military spouse, you have the highs of the spouse coming home and getting to spend time at home, but also the lows and fears, of never knowing when your spouse may get called away in duty, or even where they may be going, depending on the current situation.
Yesterday, I had a rough day. My wife that has slept next to me for 9+ years now, will not be able to sleep next to me, for 6+ months. I know this seems little when compared to some assignments some spouses get, but this is long enough for me. It made me emotional to, because I'm used to laying down with my wife every night, and used to waking up in the morning with her next to me. Add the reading of the pages, plus the girls asking questions, and it just made for a rough day yesterday.
Sweetie, all I can say, is I will do my best at home, and make sure you concentrate and knock out BMT and Tech an soon as possible and get back home. I know you will do great, and just remember that we are very proud of you and what you are doing. Get'er done, and get back home safely! Love you. The girls and I will be back home cheering you on from home.
On Facebook, I've liked a couple of pages....USAF Basic Military Training and AF Wing Moms. Each page, gives tips and keeps you updated as to what's going on.
Well, I got to reading some of the posts, and a flood of emotions came over me. For those that know me, I'm not really all that emotional of a guy, so this is kind of new territory for me. I believe, in my mind, that the reason this is so emotional, is because I'm going to miss my wife...plain and simple.
I've been on the leaving side when I myself left for Basic Training. I've been on the dependent side of things, when my father had to go TDY or called out to the base on alert. This however, is something new. I'm not used to being, the dependent spouse. As a spouse, you're used to being able to bounce ideas off of, in concerns of the family. You're used to sharing duties around the house. Well, in a military family, the spouse, has to be as strong as the military member. The biggest difference I see between a single parent and a military spouse is, as a single parent, you know the other one is gone, and most likely not coming back. As a military spouse, you have the highs of the spouse coming home and getting to spend time at home, but also the lows and fears, of never knowing when your spouse may get called away in duty, or even where they may be going, depending on the current situation.
Yesterday, I had a rough day. My wife that has slept next to me for 9+ years now, will not be able to sleep next to me, for 6+ months. I know this seems little when compared to some assignments some spouses get, but this is long enough for me. It made me emotional to, because I'm used to laying down with my wife every night, and used to waking up in the morning with her next to me. Add the reading of the pages, plus the girls asking questions, and it just made for a rough day yesterday.
Sweetie, all I can say, is I will do my best at home, and make sure you concentrate and knock out BMT and Tech an soon as possible and get back home. I know you will do great, and just remember that we are very proud of you and what you are doing. Get'er done, and get back home safely! Love you. The girls and I will be back home cheering you on from home.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Time is Drawing Near...
The time is drawing near when wife will be heading to BMT. I for one, am not looking forward to the day that my wife, the mother of my children heads to BMT. As a loving, supportive husband, I can't help but be excited, worried, nervous, for the one I love as she follows her dreams of serving this great country.
We have so many things to do, and very little time to do them in now. As you may or may not know, I am a disabled veteran. I have plenty of knee and back issues to go around for a lifetime. One of the issues that we have run in to, is the girls being worried about mommy ending up like daddy. Of course though, we have been constant at letting them know, that I had a dangerous job (started out as a firefighter until I was injured) while I was in, and that mommy, has a job, that is no where near as dangerous as I had.
While I pray that the time will move like molasses on a cold day while my wife is here, I'm sure it will move a lot quicker than I would like. In the time still left before she leaves for BMT, we have so many things to do, from organizing the house where the girls can help, to making sure that I have all the dates written down for kindergarten registration and tball registration and all the Girl Scout functions that my oldest will need to go to.
My wife will have one more drill prior to going to BMT, where she will have one more chance to prepare herself for the rigors that will befall her while she is there, and the girls and I will have one more weekend to try and get in a routine of stuff that we need to do around the house on the weekends and throughout the week.
I'm sure I will be a wreck as the weeks turn to days and the days turn to hours before my wife is set to ship off for BMT. I know I will have to be strong for my girls that way they can remain confident and strong at home while mommy is away. Even though I don't seem like much the type to show emotion or cry for that matter, I'm sure I will have my times. All you macho guys out there that don't think guys are supposed to tear up, guess REAL men, do tear up or cry. It takes a real man to do it...and I'm sure that I will have my times over the extended period she is away, where I tear up. As time draws near, I'm sure I will be a little more edgy than normal, and a little more emotional. I will do my best though, to make sure my daughters see a strong father.
I am extremely happy for my wife, that she is able to follow her dreams and serve this great country. It swells me with pride as her husband and swells me with pride that she is showing our daughters, that if you work for something hard enough, and truly want something, that nothing can hold them back from that. Not man, not circumstances...NOTHING!!!
As time draws near, I will be updating this more, as more will be going on in preparation of our change in lifestyle as a military family in transition.
As Time Draws Near....!
We have so many things to do, and very little time to do them in now. As you may or may not know, I am a disabled veteran. I have plenty of knee and back issues to go around for a lifetime. One of the issues that we have run in to, is the girls being worried about mommy ending up like daddy. Of course though, we have been constant at letting them know, that I had a dangerous job (started out as a firefighter until I was injured) while I was in, and that mommy, has a job, that is no where near as dangerous as I had.
While I pray that the time will move like molasses on a cold day while my wife is here, I'm sure it will move a lot quicker than I would like. In the time still left before she leaves for BMT, we have so many things to do, from organizing the house where the girls can help, to making sure that I have all the dates written down for kindergarten registration and tball registration and all the Girl Scout functions that my oldest will need to go to.
My wife will have one more drill prior to going to BMT, where she will have one more chance to prepare herself for the rigors that will befall her while she is there, and the girls and I will have one more weekend to try and get in a routine of stuff that we need to do around the house on the weekends and throughout the week.
I'm sure I will be a wreck as the weeks turn to days and the days turn to hours before my wife is set to ship off for BMT. I know I will have to be strong for my girls that way they can remain confident and strong at home while mommy is away. Even though I don't seem like much the type to show emotion or cry for that matter, I'm sure I will have my times. All you macho guys out there that don't think guys are supposed to tear up, guess REAL men, do tear up or cry. It takes a real man to do it...and I'm sure that I will have my times over the extended period she is away, where I tear up. As time draws near, I'm sure I will be a little more edgy than normal, and a little more emotional. I will do my best though, to make sure my daughters see a strong father.
I am extremely happy for my wife, that she is able to follow her dreams and serve this great country. It swells me with pride as her husband and swells me with pride that she is showing our daughters, that if you work for something hard enough, and truly want something, that nothing can hold them back from that. Not man, not circumstances...NOTHING!!!
As time draws near, I will be updating this more, as more will be going on in preparation of our change in lifestyle as a military family in transition.
As Time Draws Near....!
Monday, December 3, 2012
Orders Arrived...
Well, my wife had drill this past weekend. While at drill, her and another recruit had some running around to do. One of those errands that was ran, happened to take her to the office where orders are sent. While she was there, she happened to ask about her orders, sure enough they were there, so she was able to get a couple of copies.
She will be doing her out processing mid February and heading to BMT. Her return date is in late July after she completes Tech school. One of the bad things is, we thought she was going to be able to come home during the two week break between BMT and Tech, but the AF said different. One thing I learned while I was in and when I was a military dependent, is nothing is set in stone, until the AF puts it down in paper. Just have to be willing to roll with the punches.
Once my wife told me that she has her orders, several things went through my mind. I was extremely happy for her that she is living her dream. I was sad, in the fact that she won't get to come home between BMT and Tech, and I was stressed. Stressed in the fact that we have a date now, and several things to get lined up before she heads to basic an she is gone for a 6 month time period.
Now is also the time to spend as much time together as possible. Luckily, we will be going down to see her graduate, and the girls and I, will get to see her for at least 4 days in between BMT and Tech school. I'm sure that there will be a slough of emotions that will be gone through over the period that she is gone, but in military fashion, we as a family will push through them, and will be stronger and closer than we have ever been.
She will be doing her out processing mid February and heading to BMT. Her return date is in late July after she completes Tech school. One of the bad things is, we thought she was going to be able to come home during the two week break between BMT and Tech, but the AF said different. One thing I learned while I was in and when I was a military dependent, is nothing is set in stone, until the AF puts it down in paper. Just have to be willing to roll with the punches.
Once my wife told me that she has her orders, several things went through my mind. I was extremely happy for her that she is living her dream. I was sad, in the fact that she won't get to come home between BMT and Tech, and I was stressed. Stressed in the fact that we have a date now, and several things to get lined up before she heads to basic an she is gone for a 6 month time period.
Now is also the time to spend as much time together as possible. Luckily, we will be going down to see her graduate, and the girls and I, will get to see her for at least 4 days in between BMT and Tech school. I'm sure that there will be a slough of emotions that will be gone through over the period that she is gone, but in military fashion, we as a family will push through them, and will be stronger and closer than we have ever been.
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